When you just dont understand...

Been a while since I've done a blog post. Guess you could say my life has just not allowed me the time to post. With 3 kids at home and work I can never find the time to post whats going on. And truthfully this year has been a complete hell for us emotionally. I literally feel emotionally drained and lost.
That being said, let me explain. We as parents are given the wonderful task of raising our children to make the right decisions as they go through this life. Problem is that as they get older sometimes those teachings stay with them and sometimes they dont. I havent been very vocal about what all we have been through as a family. Mainly because the hurt has been so deep we have been trying to just lean on each other to try and get through it. One of our children has made some decisions that has rocked our world and taken her away from us. Not literally. Shes just a mile down the road. But the choices that were made were choices we wont support or condone. So we chose to cut those parenting ties and she now is not in our home. It hurts. Im not gonna lie. Theres days I dont know how to go on. Jerry reminds me everyday that we have done our part.  She is 22 and on her own now. We raise them and they leave and make their own decisions. We arent responsible for those decisions anymore. But this mama is having a very hard time. I am full of bitterness. And that is wrong of me. But when you raise a child and they completely turn on you and make choices that you know will lead to destruction it is a pain I live with everyday. Where did we go wrong? Thats the question I ask myself everyday. I used to have decent conversations with her. Now I have to limit my texts because it turns into a fighting match. Mainly because my two girls  and my son are suffering. They miss their sister so much. We miss her too. But sometimes you have to do whats right for your family no matter how much it hurts. They dont get to see their sister. Its choices and a lifestyle we dont want them around. Sounds mean I know. We just have two innocent girls to protect. Will they resent us for it? Im not sure. They might. And we will deal with that when/if that happens. Right now our focus is on them and keeping them safe from the worldy lifestyle their sister has chosen.
I havent told many people. Im embarrassed and heartbroken. I spent 16 years helping Jerry raise her. And now I spend my days wondering how this happened. We love all of our children. Buyt what we have been forced to live through is not fair at all. Not only to Jerry and I but to our other children. Its not fair that they were thrown away like the trash for other people and bad choices. Its just not fair. And as their mama I hurt with them and for them.  It is the most hurt we have ever experienced. It tests our marriage on a daily basis. But we remain strong together. Jerry and I have a love that not even this can break apart.
Why am I saying all this? Because it was time to break my silence and ask for prayers. Life will never be the same. Relationships have been severed. Hearts have been broken in two. And family as we knew it has changed.
I thank God for my 3 babies I still have here. But a part of me is missing. And its just a mile down the road. Someone told us a while back to always look her in the eye and tell her 'this is not you. This is not Gods plan'. I did that for a while. Then I gave up. I think its time to start believing again and having faith that our family will be restored.
Tonight do me a favor. Hold your babies tight. Pray for them on a daily basis. Because I lay here tonight with one of my children missing from our family but really just down the road.  And I pray none of you mamas ever have to experience the hurt I am living with.

Letting Go

Its hard to let go and let God. We seem to want to let him have a fraction of our problem but still hold onto some of it ourselves. Why? Why would we as children of God want to hold onto the hurt and issues of life when he said in his word to give them to him? Is it pride? Is it a feeling of 'I can do this God'. What is it that motivates us to hang onto so much hurt and stress?

I know in my daily life I battle day after day. Hurts, regrets, stress, issues of life, and I tell myself Im gonna hand it over to him but then the next thing I know im still holding half the problem in my hand. We have to learn to turn it ALL over to God. Not half. Not Three quarters. ALL! All the hurt. All the heartache. And all the stress!

Im learning ....

Thats what he is here for. But we have to make the first move. Release.

Night to all

Jeanette

Finding the blessing in the tragedy

One week ago we had a house fire. We all were okay thanks to Gods protection. Alot of internal damage and things that will need replaced and thats okay. Thats what we have State Farm for!

We are now living in this nice little two bedroom hotel room. Yes all 6 of us are living in a two bedroom hotel room. We have all learned that inside voices are a must and that we all have to share our sleeping space with others. For now this is home to us and we are making the most of it. Clean linens everyday. Free breakfast. We are finding much needed rest while our house is remodeled. New floors. New walls. New air condition unit. New paint and all new bedroom furniture for everyone. This was truly a blessing within a tragedy. I did cry when I first entered the house after it happened. This was the house i grew up in. This house has sooo many memories of my childhood and is were we have chosen to raise our children. Its home to us and we almost lost it all.

But God took what Satan intended for evil and turned it into Good! Satan once again lost a battle against the Wells family. Our God is bigger than anything we face. Yes we are stuck in this hotel for weeks to come BUT we will have a remodeled house to go home to when its over. So for now we will enjoy the maid service that comes everyday and the cook who makes us breakfast.

A year of Miracles

Oh yeah its here!!! My year. My happiness. My answered prayers. As I look back on 2012 I have to thank the Lord it ends tomorrow. I am so excited for the new year that begins in two days. I am excited because I know God has something so powerful and so miraculous for me and for my family. From Jerry and I right down to each of our 4 children- Ashley, Brandon, Emileigh, and Hannah.

Have you ever believed for something so bad that your heart gets excited at every encouraging word spoken to you about your situation? Thats how I feel. I am in awe at how many prayer warriors have stood with me over the past months and helped me with all the encouraging words. Some days when I just didnt think I would make it God would send someone with a word that would give me the slightest bit of hope and I would then realize that Yes I could make it another day. I have really never experienced anything like I did this year. There were days that I thought my world was crashing around me. There were days when I just really could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I tell you now I do see the light and things ARE getting better in Jesus name!

If i could describe 2012 in one word the word I would choose would be 'unreal'. Why 'unreal' you ask? Well mainly because what this family has been through is definitely unreal! Never has my heart hurt like it has this year never has a marraige been tried like it was this year. And only because what we went through was a pure battle that tested us on every level. We stood together in prayer though. Never has this family been so torn apart by angry words and hateful actions like it has this year. I say all that to say this - 2012 was not our year But it happened and we will now move on and forget it as the past. Moving forward to better days. How? By putting our faith in the Lord and his promise to us of opened eyes and hearts drawn back to him. And one thing I know about my God- he ALWAYS keeps his promises!

So as I leave 2012 behind, I will take with me only the remembrance that my trials will be for his glory and my battle will be won. As Pastor Bobby told me today - I dont have to worry about when--- I just need to know its coming. My answered prayer is coming.

So welcome to the Wells house 2013. Happy New Year!!

Been Gone Way Too Longggg

Well......

What can I say? Life has been rolling right along, so hectic that I have had no time to post anything on here.

I'm not even sure where I left off but I'll try and catch you up.

This year for the WELLS family has been so hectic and chaotic. And its in the chaotic moments that I am reminded of who holds our future and directs our steps. It has not been an easy ride fo sho! But like I said in my first post, you just hang on and enjoy the ride. The ups and downs, the moments you think you can't take anymore, the good times and bad, you hang on to each other and just keep on rollin' along.

My kids are my heart. We have 4 (of course you know that). They are such a blessing. We have two which are teenagers(yeah, still continue to pray for my sanity!!!). And then we have a 10 yr old and a 4 yr old. I love them dearly and treasure every moment I get with them. Our oldest, Ashley, is 19 and trying to embrace adulthood while still staying close to mama and daddy(which keeps mama very happy). Hard for sure, but like I've told her, if you seek God and his direction for your life, he'll get you there. We've been through some rough spots this year, but have been brought out on top every time.

I'm not sure where this ride is gonna take us next, but I do know that as long as God is leading this rollar coaster, we'll all be just fine. I love the things about our family that make us unique from the quiet family life. The laughter, the crying, the siblings fusses we have to break up, the hustle each morning to make sure everyone gets to where they need to be, the random noises that erupt from certain people that make us bust out laughing, just the overall things in life that make us the family we are. But most importantly, I am thankful for God's hand in our family. In our relationships, in our day to day activities, in our finances, and in our childrens lives. I constantly pray for his mighty hand to guide my children so that they will follow his direction and not go astray. Its a mama's prayer and I'm sure you mama's out there pray it too.

Well, just a few words of things that crossed my mind recently. Life is not always what we want it to be. And Life in the WELLS house is not about what we want, its about what God wants for us as a family and individually. And that's what we are striving for, to be where he wants us to be and work together as he would have us do.

Jeanette

Take me out to the Ballgame(Roll Tide style)

This past weekend, Jerry and I took the kids to Tuscaloosa for the weekend. We are a huge softball lovin' family so we went to watch some Alabama Softball. Boy, was it a blast! First of all, we played them dawgs from Georgia. Whooped them Friday night. Then we played them again on Saturday and whooped them yet again. AND got to watch their coach be very ugly and get himself thrown out of the game. It was not very nice.
On Saturday morning, we took a walk around campus. For those of you Bama fans, you know that when you step on campus, the atmosphere and feeling is awesome. To stroll down those sidewalks and take a look around Bryant Denney Stadium is just amazing. We spent some time there and took some pics. It was a fabulous weekend and we hated for it to end. But there are these places called Eye Center South and Coca Cola and  for some reason they needed us there on Monday to work. So we came back on Sunday.

Bryant Denney Stadium

Gives ya chills just standing near it!

And this... Love it

Alabama Doin its thang!

We had such a great time , that Ashley has asked me to take her to the Troy/Alabama game in April. They are playing in Troy. And you know this mama is gonna take her little girl to watch it. The good thing about Troy games is they are FREE to get in. Alabama's was only $5. Can't beat that for some good family fun.

 And this says it all.........



Now, I could add the Rammer Jammer in here, but I won't since I have some Georgia friends out there. But we did enjoy watching Bama beat them!!

And this is where I add a little ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!!

Prom 2011

Last night our baby girl attended her Senior Prom. As a mama of a senior, I'm very emotional at the "lasts" that she will experience this school year. Last football game as a student. Last softball game she will play. Last Homecoming dance. Last prom. And last time she will be called a student of Wicksburg High School. Her senior year has been one that has been very emotional for her as well.
But last night, she walked down the isle at leadout with her boyfriend(TJ Walker) and looked stunning(TJ you looked very handsome as well!!)!! Yes I'm bragging. But my gosh, she was beautiful!!!! We watched her and her friends(and enemies) dance their Senior dance together. Memories were made and will be remembered for years to come. I never got to experience the things that she is so I wanted her "lasts" to be memorable. And I think they have been.
Jerry and I left leadout saying to each other "We cant believe she's not a baby anymore". She's all grown up and fulfilling the dreams and plans the Lord has for her. For those of you who havent experienced this stuff, as a mother, I am very emotional with all of it. You just wait, when your little girls and little boys become Seniors. Its an emotional roller coaster but I'm glad to ride it with her.
Well the tears are dried for now. I imagine the next ones will come when she plays her last softball game(if she plays, but thats a whole other story for another blog). Then the next will be when she walks onstage to receive her diploma. I'm practicing now for what I will Yell at her when she does. I need ideas people!! I want her to KNOW her mama is PROUD!!!