If you are friends with our oldest daughter, you have witnessed the slander and lies they have posted about me and my husband. I am going to set things straight now that my name and phone number have been plastered all over facebook.
Our daughter lives a lifestyle we do not condone. We do not support her in her relationship and we do not let her around our children because of it. So there's the first of many truths you are about to see.
I married Jerry in 2000. He had a daughter and I had a son. I adored her. She was 6. Her biological mother was not in the picture. She came around when it was convenient for her which was never. When we were dating, she was to get her for a week at Mother's day. She came and got her on Sunday. Ashley called me on Monday begging me to come get her. You have to remember this little girl was 6 years old. So what did her daddy's girlfriend do? I went and got her. I began to see how little Debbie was in her life. How little she cared. I began to do everything for Ashley once Jerry and I married. I made sure her hair was done for school, that her homework was done, and that she knew a mothers love. Not long after we married, she asked me could she call me what Brandon called me- Mama. I asked her why. She said because you take care of me and thats what a mother does. On her 7th birthday, her birth mother called to wish her a happy 6th birthday. She was 7. Just saying..
Debbie never came around. She never called. Nothing. For months at a time. So we began documenting all of this neglect. I still have this notebook. I am the one who sat at ballgames, watched her cheer, did her hair for her first pageant. I taught her to shave her legs and explained what "that" part of the month was for a woman. I'm not bragging. I'm letting people know the truth. I helped my husband raise her. We never received a dime of child support or anything from her.
Never once did I deny Debbie access to Ashley. She just never was around. Ever. She called one day and asked could she come see her. I told her yes and gave her a day and time. Guess what? She never showed. I wiped tears for hours of a little girl who had been abandoned by a pretty pathetic birth mother. Debbie called again apologizing ,of course, asking to come that next day. Sure. Why not. Lets hurt a little girl again, but what the heck. And what ya know... She never showed.
So for us that was it. Ashley was 10 at this time and we approached her about adopting her. She was so excited. First we had to contact Debbie to get rights terminated. Yeah, have fun with that because she was nowhere to be found. So we had to run it in the paper for 4 weeks. She never responded. So a judge terminated her rights after reading our documentation and he could prove abandonment. For those of you who don't know, abandonment is 6 months of no contact. So yes she would go 6+ months with no contact at all. A few months later she called and I told her I had adopted Ashley. She didn't believe me. I begged her to meet me and I would show her the adoption decree along with the new birth certificate. She refused. I kept those papers in my car for about 3 years hoping to run into her and give them to her. That never happened.
She called me one day years later saying she was dying of cancer(which was a lie might I add) and could she see Ashley. Ashley was 15 at the time. We asked Ashley and she said yes. So here I go letting her in my house. She sits down and knows nothing about my daughter. Nothing. Even when she walked out my door she told me she knew who Ashley's mother was. So even she knew the truth.
Fast forward to our daughters adult years. We don't condone or support her lifestyle so she runs to birth mommy because birth mommy does support it and is more of a friend than a mother. Very ugly words are and continue to be spoken between both her and us. I have apologized numerous times to her for speaking wrongly to her. Funny thing is she never apologizes. Ever. I am the one who has to see the hurt in my husbands eyes everyday. She has lied over and over to her daddy and even brought this lifestyle into our home numerous times without us knowing. So don't tell me what you would do because you haven't walked in our shoes. We have 2 young daughters who are taught that homosexuality is wrong and not God's plan for a woman's life. Marriage is 1 man and 1 woman. Period. Our daughter knows this. She just refuses to live by it. I've always told her you become the company you keep. Prime example.
Last weekend, she took my minor child out of the state for the weekend without us knowing. We were out of town. That is interference with custody and we did file a police report. You dont get to decide that my daughters can be around you when I'm gone.
So, you can ridicule me on social media and call me a pathetic excuse for a mother. But one thing I did not do was lie to her during her childhood and I never kept Debbie from her. She knows that. Anytime we would refuse to put up with her crap, she would run to Debbie because what are friends for right? Then when Debbie would start doing her drugs, our daughter would come back home. It was a cycle that never ended. And no Debbie is not here to defend herself, but there are those of you who witnessed how things were. You know the truth. I was even blamed for my husband not going to her funeral. Let me put a stop to that lie too. I told Jerry to go. You want to know his reason for not going? He didn't want to sit and see his daughter being comforted by a lesbian. So I wont take blame for that.
I love Ashley. But I will not support or condone this lifestyle. I will not have it around my girls. And I will not let it in my home. If I am wrong for that then fine. But it is my life and my children.
It amazes me the people who commented on a post like they knew me. Funny, I didn't know any of you and never once got one message asking for the truth. One sided? I think so. One girl even shared it like she knew me. Girl you don't know me and how old are you again?? And let me add everyone who commented believes everyone should just agree with homosexuality. Go figure.
So there's our side of the story. If they can put their side out there well we will put ours and defend ourselves. My husband deserves NONE of what he has been forced to endure. Neither do my children. By the way, she was made to choose between her family and this lifestyle. She chose.
There's your truth for the day. Believe it or not I really don't care. My husband and I have a tight bond and nothing will tear us apart.
And on another note, someone said something about never letting their dad choose their stepmother over them. Well, that's the thing. I was never the stepmother until things didn't go her way. Funny how things work. We haven't had the best relationship. But I was the mother figure when the real one wouldn't be.
Moral of the story, if we condoned her lifestyle, we wouldn't be having this conversation and all would be right in our world. But we do not condone it, so here we are living this hell.
